"I Didn't Think You'd Like It"

I am now faced with the daunting task of putting my deeply repressed emotions and feelings into words again.. God help me...

Nothing interesting has been happening in my life lately, saved for the occasional inconvenience of having to adjust to a different job industry.

---

Now I am quietly waiting for

the catastrophe of my personality

to seem beautiful again,

and interesting, and modern.

The country is grey and

brown and white in trees,

snows and skies of laughter

always diminishing, less funny

not just darker, not just grey. (Frank O'Hara)

Am I the only one who can't stop being sentimental, ruminating on what could have been and should have been? Am I the only one who thinks that it is difficult as a grown adult to straddle the middle ground between being rational and being emotional at the same time?

Is there a healthier way to deal with negative emotions and progress stagnation? How do some men do it? 🤣

I am waiting on the day I can finally say:“That is cap. I am no longer held back by what I thought should have been mine.”

🧢🧢🧢 All facts and no feelings - thank you.